Peter Weber

The statistical amalgamation of America’s preferences for a reality television lead. You liked him best out of the bunch America, so here he is! 

Peter. A pilot! A guy! A known sexual deviant (in old fashionedy wind-based power structures). He’s got a dad who cries, condoms in his car, and a smile that’ll make you say “wow he sure has teeth!”

No one could be a better Bachelor! Except for maybe someone actually eligible like a successful entrepreneur, professional football player, or heir to a tire fortune like the good old days, but I digress. 

It’s the ultimate redemption story! Peter fell a little bit in love with Hannah kind of, they broke up amicably, he got a bunch of instagram followers, so now he deserves love we’re told! 

He’s been groomed by Chris Harrison and the ABC puppet masters, given his leading man glow up and presumably a sweet car to drive around for the first episode or two which he doesn’t even need because he literally grew up around the corner from The Bachelor Mansion. Seriously look it up, he grew up like 8 minutes away. But I digress again. 

We’re sure he’s a good dude but is he a good Bachelor? We don’t think so. Or at least I don’t. This is Ryan S. writing this. I honestly don’t know what the other guys think. We don’t hang out much during the off season. Fun Bach Boys Trivia: Alex F. and Casey S. actually hate each other. They won’t even sit in the same room to record when all four of us are together, we actually have a separate off-site remote studio for Alex F. that he records from just to keep the drama to a minimum. But I digress a third time.  

Seemingly no one else in Bachelor Nation is asking these tough questions about Peter, but we know you’re on board Bach Boys Nation! No more joking around this season. We’re playing Hardball™️. Let’s hope that Peter really does know how to fly, and this whole season doesn’t crash and burn. 

We are boys who love The Bach, and those are the kind of hard hitting airplane metaphors you can expect all season long.